A grief-stricken woman killed herself after writing a 'death book' following the death of her baby
Kirsty Farbrother, 21, struggled to cope with the loss of her premature baby boy Reece in 2012, and after his father Callum Lines killed himself in August 2016, Kirsty felt she had lost the last link to her son.
Miss Farbrother's mother Tracey, 46, had no idea her daughter was suffering so much – because Miss Farbrother kept her true feelings hidden.
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Miss Farbrother and Callum had split up after Reece's death and lost contact, but in May 2016 Callum got in touch with Kirsty again.
The pair started messaging and meeting up, sharing memories of little Reece.
Kirsty Farbrother committed suicide after dealing with depression
I knew Kirsty was struggling, but I never knew how bad it really was
But just three months later, in August 2016, the grief became too much of Callum and he committed suicide.
Although Miss Farbrother was devastated, Tracey had no idea how much her daughter was struggling.
While she pretended everything was normal, Miss Farbrother started writing a haunting 'death book' – a scrap booked filled with pictures of Reece and Callum, letters, poems about depression, a list of her final wishes and details on how she wanted her funeral.
Her mum with the book of thoughts that Kirsty wrote whilst she was dealing with depression
Heartbroken Mrs Farbrother, a customer service worker from Tamworth, Staffs, said: "I knew Kirsty was struggling, but I never knew how bad it really was.
"She was so good at putting on a front, she never opened up about how she really felt.
"The night before she did it, we'd been laughing and joking as normal as we sat and watched TV.
This was a list showing the physical and mental problems Kirsty was going through every day
"There was no clue about what she was planning.
"When I came downstairs I found a note and four letters on the table in the living room – I went into her room, but she wasn't in there.
"Then the dog started barking and ran to the dining room – and that's when I found her.
This was one of the first few pages that was in a folder full of letters and poems to mother Tracey
"At first I had to take a step back – I couldn't breathe.
"I kept saying 'Kirsty, wake up' – but her lips and feet were blue, and she was cold.
"I was just numb.
Messages inside Kirstys album which is where she wrote about how she felt and what she missed
"Then I found a folder in her room – sort of a death book, filled with pictures, letters and poems.
"There were even details on how she wanted her funeral.
"She wrote about having a dream where Callum and Reece visited her, saying they missed her and needed her.
Tracey with letters and poems her daughter wrote before she took her life
"I think she thought by killing herself she would be going to join them."
Kirsty was just 17 when she fell pregnant with Reece – and she didn't even know she was expecting until she was 20 weeks' pregnant.
Despite the shock, Tracey said child-oriented Miss Farbrother was so happy and excited about becoming a mum.
"Kirsty was heartbroken when Reece died.
Kirsty (far right) with sister Jade, brothers Matty and Nathan and nephew Carl
"By the time Reece was born Kirsty and Callum had split up, but as they both struggled with his death they got back together again and helped each other through.
"But in the end, they did each other more harm than good – they both went a bit off the rails, and so I brought Kirsty home with me to get her on the straight and narrow."
Miss Farbrother, who Tracey described as a "daddy's girl", saw a counsellor and started to get her life back on track, enrolling in a college course and getting a new job.
A drawing Kirsty made showing how her heart was being torn apart from losing her partner and son
Tracey said: "About 18 months later, Callum got in touch with Kirsty again.
"I was worried at first, but he seemed to have sorted his life out too.
"They started messaging, and met up a few times.
The father, Callum Lines killed himself in August 2016
"They would talk about Reece and share memories of him – I thought it was therapeutic for Kirsty."
Mrs Farbrother said: "I don't think Callum ever got over losing Reece.
"Kirsty was such a sweet, quiet girl – she was so gentle, polite and kind, and she loved her family and friends so much.
Tracey holding an image of her daughter
"But she is where she wants to be now – with Callum and their little boy.
"I knew Kirsty had struggled over the years, but she looked like she was coping.
"I lived with her, I saw her every day, and I had no idea what was really going on.
The folder was found in her room by her mother which contained pictures, letters and poems
"She seemed happy and like she was getting on with her life, but she was hiding her true feelings from everyone.
"I can't believe I never picked up on it, but sometimes it can be so subtle – as simple as someone snapping at you.
"It's so important for family and friends to pay attention – to talk to people, and really listen.
"I don't want any other family to have to suffer like I have."
Kirsty pictured with her close nephew Carl
In the UK, the Samaritans can be contacted on 116 123.
In the US, the National Suicide Prevention Hotline is 1-800-273-8255.
In Australia, the crisis support service Lifeline is on 13 11 14.
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