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June Brown has revealed that she blamed herself for her husband's suicide
The 89-year-old EastEnders veteran married her first husband John Garley in 1950 but lost him to suicide in 1957 when he gassed himself to death.
"I walked into the bedroom and there was Johnny, lying on the bed, the gas fire propped up next to him," she told The Sun.
"Suicide was still a criminal offence in the late-Fifties. I'd got him breathing again but it was obvious he'd suffered severe brain damage."
June has played Dot Cotton on EastEnders for 32 years
June is one of EastEnders' longest-serving cast members
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Johnny died in hospital just three days later.
One of the longest-serving EastEnders cast members, June, who turns 90 next week, admitted that she felt responsible for his death because she had left him money for the gas meter.
She revealed that she couldn't face finding out how much money had been left on the meter, fearing that if she hadn't left him the money to top it up he would have lived.
June opened up about her love life, telling the newspaper that when she was younger she "seemed to attract the opposite sex".
June with former EastEnders cast member Barbara Windsor meeting the Queen in 2001
The EastEnders legend with her two awards at the 2005 British Soap Awards
"I'd go to bed with men because I was looking for something I never quite found until I met my first husband, Johnny," she said.
She met Johnny in 1950 at The Old Vic Theatre School which she attended after the war ended.
The soap star revealed that moving away from home at just 18 had given her a lot of freedom, confessing that "in the heady post-war year, I fell in love all the time".
She also spoke about the other tragedies she has experienced, losing two siblings by the time she was seven and the death of her daughter Chloe, from her second marriage, after she was born prematurely at just 28 weeks.
EastEnders will honour June with a special tribute for her 90th birthday this month
EastEnders is set to honour her 90th birthday with a special tribute to Dot later this month.
The show will reveal how June got her start on EastEnders, as well as divulging all about rows she's had with other cast members and how she came to be one of the soap's most loved characters.
She will also appear on tomorrow's episode of BBC Radio 4's Desert Island Discs.